Honesty – A Lost Evaluation

25 Aug

Have you ever faced a mountain that just looked way to scary to tackle? Maybe it was a person who you knew needed to be confronted, but the thought of meeting them eye to eye sent chills down your bones. For the apostles it was a raging sea that had them crying out in fear. Maybe it is something else, the fear of failure or the loss of a relationship. Whatever it is, it is common for all of us to face fears.

For me, it is looking into my inner self that frightens me to death. As I take an honest look into who I am and compare it to the likeness of Christ I sorrow in disappointment. How can I be so wretched? Why does the Lord even waste His time with me? Will I ever overcome this and that? When I take an honest look at myself, I know I still need a lot of work.

It is easy as Christians to put on a show Sunday morning and hide all of our fears deep inside the caves of our self-made false facades. But, when we are willing to take an honest look at ourselves and be open about our fears and cry out to God, just like the apostles did in the boat, great healing comes. and peace is the result.

As I write this, I bask in the truth that God will provide all I need to Get to the mission field, if that is where he wants me to be. But, I also write it with an honest fear of not making it. The fear of failure is nauseating to me.  Yet, with all of that said, I feel peace in the storm.  I know…I sound like a schizophrenic!

If we are honest, the ride of life is sometimes scary. But, God is still on the throne and he wants us to know that even when we have fear, and the waves of life seem as if they are going to overtake us, He is there and He can be trusted. Maybe It was the storm that we needed to face our fears. Maybe it took the wind and waves for us to flush out the garbage and cry out to Jesus for help. Sometimes it is those fears that help us lean on Jesus more. I think He likes us leaning on Him.

I think if we are truly honest with ourselves, we know that we need changing and we are scared to death to let Jesus in to rip out the roots, because we know it’s going to hurt. But once we face our fears and deal with them head on, God does a work in us and heals us. And that is real peace.


Posted by on August 25, 2011 in Pre-Field Random


3 responses to “Honesty – A Lost Evaluation

  1. Heather

    August 26, 2011 at 3:04 am

    Tim, very well said. It is only in honesty that true change can happen. We are all a work in progress. Some of us are very comfortable where we are at, because we fear the unknown. I am thankful that Jesus has already walked in that unknown; hold tight to His hand and rest in the Master’s care. God bless your family in this new adventure with Christ.

  2. Donna

    September 7, 2011 at 8:13 pm

    thank you for your honest, sincere thoughts…it makes me feel not so alone in that dept 🙂 We are praying for you all as you go into these unchartered waters….we realize this is a huge act of faith on your part…but when God is calling, who can refuse? He will be your safety net as you leap from one unknown place to another. God bless you!

  3. Todd and Loree Osowski

    January 3, 2012 at 9:02 am

    May you and your family be blessed as you go into unknown territory with God as your forever tour guide.


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